Match Rescheduled: Mr H, Halloween and Hotel HDU

Mr H and his A(wake)-Team are booked in for their postponed match against the Squatter. Here’s a reminder of what I could have won on Thursday: Hannibal-style “Awake” surgery (further details here but key highlights include the use of a jigsaw for my skull and my head being bolted to the table).

To add a touch of drama, this already-surreal-sounding brain surgery will now take place on Halloween 🎃 👻. While, on the one hand, it’s all a bit too obvious, I can’t stop my overactive imagination running away with the spoon. I mean, Howay Man, Woman Man, the script practically writes itself for the Lloyd-Webber megamix equivalent of a Halloween B-movie. Continue reading “Match Rescheduled: Mr H, Halloween and Hotel HDU”


You Cannot Not Be Serious (Part One)

A few strange events have recently brought home to me that the Squatter has already been a life-changing event for me and those around me:

  1. Last week, an Australian Immigrant gave me the last of his TimTams, which had been brought over especially for him:IMG_0940.JPG
  2. My hubby has only recently been able to tolerate a trip to the Metro Centre without complaining about the “soul-less”, “air-less”, “natural light-less”, “Fenwicks-less”, and “[insert any other Newcastle attribute]-less” “abomination”. A lot of his hostility stems from a feeling that supporting our local shopping precinct is a betrayal of both his hometown and the company (his employer for over six years until last year) dedicated to improving The Toon. Today, however, the same man practically bundled me into the car and skipped into the Metro Centre in excitement as he wheeled me around for my first shopping trip since August.
  3. Even more worrying, Mr C noted with disappointment at the end of our trip that we hadn’t spent as much money as usual. He had tried unsuccessfully to persuade me to buy an iWatch to replace the 12-year old watch I had broken in the MRI machine last week. Mrs Fiscally Responsible, the subject of fewer confirmed sightings than Nessie, held firm.
  4. Tomorrow is Alien Day at nursery so we had obviously left it until today to try to find appropriate outfits. We couldn’t find Yoda, Chewbacca or other alien costumes (Star Wars or otherwise) in the right sizes. We ended up with a Minions onesie for Jennifer even though: (a) Jennifer doesn’t even know who the Minions are (and wasn’t impressed by the YouTube clips I showed her this evening); and (b) a quick Google search before we bought it suggested that they are not even aliens. I didn’t have the energy to live up to my own pedantic standards. If it’s any consolation for Jennifer, Leo came off worse: we couldn’t find anything in his size that was even tenuously linked to aliens, so he’s going to have to make do with the superman vest he already has.


One-Eyed Monarch

Anniversaries, news and events this week have reminded me how much pain, devastation and heartache there has been, and continues to be, in the lives of so many of my friends and family. I therefore want to start this post with a big hug and best wishes to those suffering in any way as I don’t presume to be the only one, even though a public blog about my trials might make it seem that way.

Members of the support team are starting to drop like flies around me due to a chesty cough and cold doing the rounds. For some reason, it doesn’t seem to go very well with tiredness and emotional angst. Who knew? So far, I’ve managed to stave off the lergy but, for obvious reasons, I’m not expecting to be crowned in this land of the blind. Continue reading “One-Eyed Monarch”

Rant and Dex

I was going to start off with an apology for the emotional rollercoaster that was today. I am sad and sorry for any angst, disappointment and frustration you felt and for the ultimate anti-climax caused by my craniotomy being postponed. However, I believe that it is ultimately Jeremy Hunt who should apologise to you all for the drama, but I obviously wouldn’t hold your breath on that front.

The reason my surgery was postponed was not because there wasn’t a bed for me in HDU but because there weren’t enough specialist HDU nurses to look after any further admissions. Mr H came to break the news to me in person, being the client care superstar that he is. He was very disappointed and had tried all morning to get me in but, ultimately, even the Wizard had to admit defeat. Continue reading “Rant and Dex”

Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti, Anyone?

Jennifer will be pleased that Mr H has already drawn a purple cross on my left ear. On Tuesday, after we explained that I would be back in hospital for another operation (with a bigger bandage this time), Jennifer excitedly asked: “will you have another purple cross drawn on your ear?”. This is for you, JAC:


Connect 4 Success

Continue reading “Some Fava Beans and a Nice Chianti, Anyone?”

A Tale of Two Kilis (Part Two)

Two days ago was the eighth anniversary of nine Team Graeme trekkers (plus about one-third of Graeme’s ashes) reaching the summit* of Mount Kilimanjaro. Graeme hitched his ride to the top with the six-strong speedy splinter cell who reached the summit first:


Continue reading “A Tale of Two Kilis (Part Two)”